January 2000 Reaching for the Rainbow Newsletter

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REACHING FOR THE RAINBOW

Newsletter
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A monthly newsletter with articles from a consortium of personal, business, professional, relationship, and spiritual coaches that offer life-enhancing support and perspectives for the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered, and questioning community.

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January 2000 Issue
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STEPS TO START THE NEW MILLENNIUM AFTER A BREAKUP
by Tati Buso
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1. Concentrate on Positives
Sometimes we wallow in self pity or self anger. Instead, concentrate on your good qualities. List the things you are great at. When you are feeling down, review the list or start a brand new one.

2. Start Living
There are all sorts of "valid reasons" for putting off our plans. The most common ones are: money, time, and energy. These are excuses. Inquire about low cost alternatives. Become active in something you care about. Its energizing. Visualize yourself as a much older person. From that stand point, review your choices regarding time. Are you happy with these?

3. Take a Risk
Try something you thought you could never do. Break the routine. Expand your circle of awareness. You don't like Xena? Go to a Xena party. Not liking the show will not prevent you from liking a fan. Don't care for finances? Take a money management class. We are more than we think we are.

4. Let Go
Notice how you speak or think about your ex. Are you still referring to her/his "issues". Still having mental arguments? Get it out of your system. Vent with a trusted friend. Talk about the old issues and problems until you can't stand it. You'll start feeling more optimistic and free.

5. Set New Standards
Decide what kind of relationship you would like to have. If you are moping around the house, it will be very difficult to attract an outgoing, cheerful person. Initially you probably won't attract the kind of person you are looking for. Don't be discouraged. Take it as a test of determination and resolution. Are you really going to wait for what's best for you? Be picky. Pass the test.

Make it a wonderful year.

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Author's Bio

Tati Buso is a lifelong learner who doesn't understand the concept of boredom. Her interests and life circumstances have led her to experience and appreciate the uncertainty and humor of duality. She speaks Spanish and English fluently, studies Christianity and Judaism with the same fervor, reads astronomy and astrology books with equal interest... She brings to her coaching practice an open, accepting attitude, laughter, patience, empathy and a healthy respect for contradictions. She coaches professionals, divorcees, widows, and parents. Her focus is on establishing balance, simplifying, awareness of choices, improving communication skills and becoming increasingly proactive. Email: tati@email.women.com or call 614-263-0275, http://memberpage.women.com/lifestyle/tati/

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES
by Barbara Luther
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If you are new or unfamiliar with the GLBTQ community, you might not be aware of the many resources available. Of course, each city is different, but even medium-sized towns today offer access to a variety of resources for community and/or support.

Here are some examples you might find:

GLBTQ Chamber of Commerce
G/L Business and Networking Groups (Example: In Houston, hundreds of lesbian business women belong to LIB - Lesbians in Business)
G/L Yellow or Pink Pages
G/L Social, Political, or Health-focused Groups
PFLAG (www.pflag.org)

GLBTQ Youth Groups
Coffee Houses and Bars
Bookstores, Alternative Health, and Food Stores
GLBTQ Community Centers (Check out http://www.tstradio.com/commc.html for a list of 78 U. S. community centers!)

Campus Student Groups
Theatres and Gay Choirs
GLBTQ-friendly and open Churches
GLBTQ Bed & Breakfasts
Lesbian Health Fairs

Pride Festivals
G/L Film Festivals

The major, national GLBTQ publications are: The Advocate, Out, POV, Curve (for Lesbians), Genre (for Gay Men), Venus (for black GLBTQ), and Girlfriends. Major bookstores stock Lambda or G/L books. Check out local publications there. Many communities have either city or state publications which list events on a weekly or monthly basis. Examples of these are Lesbian News in L.A., and Texas Triangle. I've seen some really nice GLBTQ newspapers and magazines in cities I've visited, and they are great community resources. And the web has exploded with GLBTQ sites. I'll do a later article on web resources. It's just incredible what you can find!

So, if you or someone you know is looking for GLBTQ community or support, my recommendation is to start first at your local bookstore to get regional publications that will link you quickly to an abundance of resources. And if you live in a more rural area, head to the web. As a matter of fact, there's even a web site just for us: www.ruralgay.com.

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Author's Bio

Master Certified Coach Barbara Luther wants her clients to feel satisfaction and joy in their lives, love the work they do, and have a strong sense of themselves and their life path. Barbara loves working with bright, creative people who have enjoyed earlier successes and want a partner with whom to design and build their fantastic life. Barbara specializes in coaching consultants, project managers, professionals, small business owners, and tenure-track faculty to achieve their professional goals and still have a joyful life (and enough sleep!).
To learn more, go to www.coach2soar.com or contact Barbara at 409-846-6337 or Barbara@coach2soar.com.

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GET A LIFE IN THE NEW YEAR!
By Deb Weiler
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A few weeks ago, I noticed a neighbor mowing his lawn at 9:55 PM! It was pitch black outside -- he couldn't possibly see what he was doing! I suspect that he intended to do this job in the light of day, but things probably blew up at the office and foiled his 5:00 PM departure from work. In any event, I'll bet the results of his late evening mowing weren't good!

So, what were you doing on a recent Thursday evening at 9:55 PM? Burning the midnight oil in the privacy of your own home? Sneaking in a phone call to an associate on your cell phone when no one was looking? Quietly pounding out a proposal on the keyboard? Pretending you were listening to your partner, but secretly thinking about the presentation you had to make the next day? Maybe you're not as obvious as my neighbor who dared to disturb the nocturnal peace in a quiet residential neighborhood. But face it, if you were doing any of the above, you're probably out of control too!

Do you ever ask yourself: "If I'm so successful and together, why does my life feel like it's running me instead of me running it?"

Take heart; it is possible to get a life. Try this:

1. What's wrong with this picture?
On an average day, look at how many hours you spend in the following areas: work, health/fitness, friends/family, financial serenity, sleep, community, recreation/hobbies, spirituality. What's likely to happen if you don't change this pattern?

2. Picture the life you really want.
How many hours would you like to spend in these areas? What would you do? With whom? How would you feel? What benefits could you expect?

3. Create intentional shifts.
Pick one area to start in, and identify the actions you can take to close the gap. For example, what actions could you take to work fewer hours a day? Delegate more? Just say "no"? Attend fewer meetings?If this seems too overwhelming, you may find it helpful to work with a coach to provide the structure, motivation, and support you'll need to reclaim your life!

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Author's Bio

Deb Weiler, MA, SPHR, is a career and executive coach who believes that you can achieve your wildest dreams! She has fifteen years of experience working in corporations as a human resources executive. Deb has coached hundreds of people, including senior executives, business professionals and even world-class athletes to achieve their aspirations!

Swimming competitively, Deb first experienced the value of coaching working with Olympic swim coach Dick Shoulberg. The same methods that made her the fastest woman in the US can help take you to the top of your career game!

Contact Deb at coach@careeraspirations.com, her web site: www.careeraspirations.com, or 770-936-0012.

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GLBTQ Special Interest Group Newsletter Consortium Members
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David Bentley, M.Ed. & Personal Coach, coaches clients through the game of life, helping them find balance, clarity of direction, and purpose in an ever-changing world. Contacts: dbentley@interisland.net or (360)378-8436 or http://www.interisland.net/dbentley

Barry Bragg coaches individuals to live out their potential, to express themselves assertively, creatively and healthily. For more information, check http://www.liveyourpotential.com/ or www.liveyourpotential.com or email barrybragg@mindspring.com.

Tati Buso, M.A., Coach, Designs from Within Coaching, Works with professionals, divorced parents, and widows seeking simplicity, proactiveness and a joyful attitude to life. Email: tati@email.women.com or call 614-263-0275, http://memberpage.women.com/lifestyle/tati

Liz Cronkhite, Spiritual Coach. Providing clarity, momentum and support to individuals who are ready to create a life of peace, meaning and purpose. Contact Liz at 702-880-3276 or CoachLizC@aol.com.

Linda Davies, L.C.S.W., Personal and Relationship Coaching to be who you are, do what you love, and connect meaningfully with others. Visit http://www.RainbowCoaching.com , E-mail her at rainbowcoach@capecod.net or phone 508-255-4913.

Karen Jasinski, HHP and Personal Coach, focuses on holistic health (the total well being of the bodymindspirit), spirituality, chronic/terminal illness, and relationships. Contact her at Kjcoachme@aol.com or call (619) 294-7741.

Barbara Luther, MCC, CMC, Wind Beneath Your Wings, Coaching successful professionals, tenure-track faculty, small business owners, creatives, and adults with ADD. Call her at (314) 878-4044 or email to Barbara@coach2soar.com.

Ann McAllister, Ph.D., helps executives, professionals and entrepreneurs achieve personal and professional excellence and still have fun in the process. She can be contacted at 770-399-6619 or Coach@AnnMcAllister.com. Visit her web site http://www.AnnMcAllister.com.

Kevin Nourse is a coach in the organizational career management center of PricewaterhouseCoopers. He specializes in career transition, life planning, and work/life balance coaching. Contact him at kevin.nourse@us.pwcglobal.com or (202) 364-1538.

Marilyn Schwader, Clarity of Vision Coaching, coaching small business owners, project managers, people in transition, people searching for a balance between analytical and creative selves. Call 505-989-8304 or email clarityofvision@earthlink.net.

Salila Shen, Professional Certified Coach and LifePartnerQuest licensee, specializes in relationship coaching for singles seeking fulfilling life partnerships and communication coaching for everyone. For information: 970-731-3102, heartcoach@frontier.net, www.lotusmountain.com or www.consciousrelating.com.

Lu Swanberg, is a Success Coach and a partner in YOUR success. Don't let the game of life play you. Discover, create and live the game you want to play. Contact Lu at (805) 382-2052 or email her at swany13@aol.com

Deb Weiler, MA, SPHR, Career Aspirations, Inc., coaches successful business professionals/executives to achieve more enjoyable and rewarding careers. Specialty: gay issues at work. Contact Deb at 770-936-0012 or coach@careeraspirations.com.

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If you are interested in joining the coaching GLBTQ Special Interest Group, please contact Barbara Luther at Barbara@coach2soar.com.

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